REVIEW: Squawk at the Moon

From It was a Dark and Stormy Night (Pill Hill Press, June 2011), "Suawk at the Moon" by Graeme Reynolds.

When I first began reading "Squawk at the Moon", I thought I was going to hate it. I know, hate is a very strong word, but the opening scene in which character Shane McTavish is driving some sort of Kitt-esque car and growling at the navigation equipment, I immediately smelled science fiction in the air. Si-fi, even well written forms of it, is my least favorite genre, so I was disappointed. I also caught wind of the Scottish McTavish's disposition--he was unlikeable from the first line of his dialogue.

Suddenly, 12 lines down, we meet Mihaela Svagalli, a crazy Romanian "Chicken Lady" who views her beloved chickens as children and not mere farm animals. When McTavish viciously and unapologetically murders Chicken Lady's hens, including her adored Honey, with his "KITT", the woman goes berserk and curses McTavish with "Gallus Gallus Lycanthropus"...perhaps you have an idea of where this is going.

Although I thought the story was going to continue along the horror path from that point, it turned back to sci-fi with a group of StarTrek inspired characters commanding a spaceship. This, however, ended up being all right, after all, as Graeme Reynolds did a very good job blending campy sci-fi with horror.

As the reader rides along on the group's mission, they find themselves encountering a fierce beast indeed--the dreaded werechicken, a malicious and malevolent creature that makes your average werewolf seem like a teacup poodle. The vicious attacks give the readers a fulfilling diet of blood and guts, and there is a bit of suspense as the crew go on the hunt of the monster roaming their spaceship. And, surprise, surprise, Shane McTavish, who has been cursed by the weird Chicken Loving Lady and begun clucking while on board, is missing. Hmm...I wonder where--or what--he is!

Perhaps so the reader "gets it", the writer includes a Romanian crew member by the name of Dimitri Kosovan, who explains that werechickens are well known in his homeland, creatures who arise when "henbane" is in full bloom. According to the crew member, Hollywood changed the concept of the werechickens to werewolves for scare factor. In my estimation, this explanation was a bit unnecessary; the story is full of werechickens...I don't care WHY...it just IS. And I think it's a lot more creative and interesting than your basic night howler.

By the end of the story, my hate vanished, replaced by genuine like. I thought "Squawk at the Moon" was unique and interesting. Graeme Reynolds writes fairly well, which was a plus, as I would have hated for a poor writer to mangle such an interesting concept with substandard writing skills.

I found the ending suitable to the tale, one expected of any "goodbad" B flick.

Wicked Truths Regarding "Squawk at the Moon":

1. Shane McTavish is obviously of Scottish descent--his last name and red hair makes the fact well known. I'm not a fan of writers who overuse dialect in their character's conversations. Graeme Reynolds peppered McTavish's speech with such ("ya", "ye", "dinna", "tae", "oot")...a little of that goes a long way. I was grateful that McTavish didn't have a lot of dialogue.

2. A touch of camp is plenty. Graeme Reynolds' use of phrases such as "mother clucker", "Cocka doodle doo, mother cluckers", explaining that a werechicken is female due to her "chicken breasts" and racking a male werechicken in the "chicken nuggets" was somewhat amusing at first, but grew a bit tiresome.

OVERALL RATING:



  4 out of 5 Flying Monkeys

If you would like to learn more about the writer of "Squawk at the Moon", you can visit him on the web at http://www.graemereynolds.com/ 

REVIEW: Welcome to Deadtown

From It was a Dark and Stormy Night (Pill Hill Press, June 2011), "Welcome to Deadtown" by Joseph Zieja:

The first story in this collection of horror parodies, "Welcome to Deadtown" sets an extremely odd tone when protagonist John realizes his very ordinary kitchen has become a portal to a bizarre world known as Deadtown.

Immediately upon entering Deadtown, John, confused and in disbelief, encounters an elderly pseudo-southern redneck who quickly informs him that he will be held captive unless Francis Stone allows him to return to his own world.

The story is somewhat slow moving and confusing, as it is cluttered with A LOT of characters and information before the reader has a chance to really settle in and get comfortable with his /her surroundings. We travel along the blood and gore strewn roads to the Deadtown Inn where we meet a weird receptionist, followed by a hockey mask wearing narcoleptic serial killer named Dom. We can see right away that John is much smarter than any of the otherworldly residents of Deadtown, but nonetheless, he and Dom team up in an effort to find Francis Stone.

This is when the story begins to get very complicated with subplots--like a bad joke, John and Dom (who continues to nod off) encounter a Rambo-eque military man, a priest, a semi-conformed mad scientist, a bimbo determine to investigate bad situations, and some sort of bizarre tourist whose gender and nationality are unknown. Off they go to the creepy castle on the hill, finding themselves attacked by monsters known as "Stoners". Yes, by this point, my head was spinning. Things progressed from odd to extremely twisted when the tourist, who seems to be an alien/Japanese/German hybrid mix, tells John that Francis "Frank" Stone's German name is "Stein". Frank Stein, a half-vampire, half-werewolf, half-zombie creation of Dr. Thompson, the mad scientist. Frank, it turns out, is really nothing more than a whining crybaby with Daddy Issues.

I'm not one to include spoilers for those who might choose to read this story or the book it is included in, so I won't divulge "Welcome to Deadtown"'s ending. Suffice it to say, it is strange and unexpected and, unfortunately, anti-climatic, a possible storyline of its own.

"Welcome to Deadtown" is a mediocre story. The tangled plot(s) had potential, and while there is nothing remarkable about Joseph Zieja's writing, it isn't terrible. He is a fair writer, and although I'm certain he knew where he was going with his story, I just didn't groove on it.

Wicked Truths regarding "Welcome to Deadtown":
1. John is a very intelligent and likeable protagonist. He is very much the "audience" of a bad horror movie.
2. John determines that it appears he'd been "trapped in a horror movie...a really, really bad horror movie". I got that from the moment I began to follow him into Deadtown. It didn't need to be stated.
3. Awkward analogy moment: "his clothes sticking to him like melted plastic wrap over a hot dish of food".
4. WAY too many plots, subplots, and storylines.
5. WAY too many characters--many needed better development.
6. In many of the passages, the writer used colorful descriptions, but seemed to wax and wane a bit as the story progressed.

OVERALL RATING:   

3 out of 5 Flying Monkeys

If you would like to learn more about Joseph Zieja, please visit him on the web at http://josephzieja.wordpress.com/

Book Review : It was a Dark and Stormy Night (Pill Hill Press)

It was a Dark and Stormy Night is a collection of horror parodies, edited by Shane McKenie and released by Pill Hill Press in June 2011.

I would like to begin this review by saying that the book's cover is magnificent. The colorfully cartoonish wraparound art work perfectly portrays the book's general cliche-on-purpose theme, which I found both interesting and intriguing. As I began to turn the pages of this anthology, I found myself following a group of writers set loose with elementary school ruler stakes and sticks to wander through ancient Indian burial grounds and weird towns while surrounded by vampires, zombies, serial killers, bimbos, jocks, and Satan himself. I could almost hear the wrbling, synthesized soundtrack and smell the 1980s Aqua Net hairspray in the air.

The following passage was taken from the back cover of the book:

When it comes to cliches, the horror genre is stuffed so full the seams are breaking. What used to shock and horrify us now only induces disappointment and laughter. So, the only thing to do is embrace the comedy of it all. This collection will tickle your funny bone, then snap it in half and suck out the marrow. If you don't laugh, you're probably dead.

I enjoyed this book, was genuinely amused by several of the stories, and even found myself laughing out loud while reading a select few. There were some awkward moments nestled amid the pages, but the good definitely outweighs the bad when it omes to the 20 tales offered by It was a Dark and Stormy Night.

If you are a fan of (or are even familiar with) horror movies, then you'll understand why the characters in this collection investigate strange noises and weird houses in spite of the obvious danger lurking among the creepy shadows. IQs drop by several points when stoned teenagers run upstairs instead of outdoors and stop to ask for directions in desolate rural areas. Although some of the writers worked too strenuosuly to show their readers that their stories are spoofs, some even going as far as to point the fact out, many of the stories have taken subtle and very effective jabs at the horror genre.

Editing: Shane McKenzie did a commendable job compiling these stories for Pill Hill Press, although I would have preferred to read a more attention-grabbing story first. Very important if you want someone to continue reading the book.

Presentation: Excellent. Fantastic, eye-catching cover. Back cover blurb would definitely lead me to read It was a Dark and Stormy Night. Good quality paperback, although I would like to see it pressed in trade paperback size.

Price: High, but as expected from a POD book. Weighing quality and quantity against price, I would say the book is well worth your hard-earned money.

Recommend it? Yes, I would.

OVERALL RATING

                

4 out of 5 Flying Monkeys

It was a Dark and Stormy Night, Copyright June 2011 Pill Hill Press
ISBN: 978-1-61706-084-7

To read specific story reviews, please click the title links to the right.

A Brief Introduction

Recently a friend of mine introduced me to a book that had been published by a small press. She encouraged me to read it--not only because the genre was one to my liking, but because a story written by one of her friends was nestled among the pages of this short story collection. My friend assured me that her friend was "completely open to an honest and unbiased critique" of her work. Although I was skeptical of that, I was intrigued by the idea of reviewing her work, and that is what led me to create Wicked Truth Reviews.

In a world where large, well-known publishing houses are taking very few fledgling writers under their proverbial stone wings, small, independent ("indie") presses are stepping up to offer a home for the works of new and/or unpublished writers. That is commendable; I believe there are a lot of truly talented writers out there whose voices are stifled in the literary world. The publishing biz is a tough one, and very few writers will attain the fame and notoriety they seek. Small presses offer these writers the opportunity to express themselves through the written word, see their names in print, and even (sometimes) make a little money.

But, just as in most aspects of real life, there is a down side to choosing a small press.

After doing a great deal of research and talking to several writers who have had their work published in small press anthologies, I jotted down a few questions, concerns, and ponderings of my own.

Although most of the small presses offer their book titles on Amaon and Barnes and Noble, I wonder how much eposure the writers are really receiving? Is it enough to simply see their names in print, or would they prefer to know that a lot of people are reading their work? I question how much advertising or "book pushing" small presses do.

It seems to me that there is a small circle of "indie press pets" who have become favorites in the small press world--sort of like a brown nosing teacher's pet, except one who belongs to the editor(s) of these tiny houses. These seem to be the writers who boast that they have been published in "over 100 anthologies" and have been writing "for more than 20 years". Wow! After that many works in print and that much writing experience I would think it would either be time to move on or give it up. Hey, some people are meant to write...others are meant to read.

Which brings me to a very real aspect in the world of the small press--some of the writing is simply not that good. I have waded my way through awkward and sometimes embarrassing analogies ("his clothes stuck to him like plastic wrap on hot food"...really?), clumsy dialogue, and poor grammar, but in doing so, I have stumbled across a gem... or two or three, which has really made these small press books enjoyable and well worth my time. Sadly, while researching my subject, I read a post from a writer who bragged, "Yeah, I wrote that in, like, two hours". It shows. Writers should never compromise their writing simply because they are submitting to an indie press. Continue to do that and that's precisely where you'll find yourself throughout the duration of your career--Writer Purgatory, one degree above Hell, but a million miles away from the Promised Land.

Of course, the editors of these small presses are really the ones to blame for putting mediocrity into print. It is an editor's job to recognize quality. Unless, of course, these editors are doing the writers a favor, which makes it almost applause worthy. But, then again, they are subjecting their writers to critics like me...some favor.

My objective through Wicked Truth Reviews is to give FAIR and HONEST reviews of small press books on a story by story basis. I have read other reviews (mostly from Amazon customers) in which one author is hand selected from a particular anthology and given a glowing, praise-filled review. THOSE reviews are biased, laughable, and unfair to readers, and those are NOT the reviews you will find here.

What makes me   qualified to review and critique someone's work? I have been working in theliterary field for mucho years, I am an award winning author, and I'm very good at criticizing--just ask my angel of a husband.

I am always willing to review a small press book (whether new or old), but please submit it only if you are thick-skinned, do not cry easily, or just happen to be an extremely cocksure person. My reviews can be harsh, but please remember, they are an OPINION ONLY. No matter what I might think of your work, I am certain your mother.husband/wife.best friend/neighbor/priest/pet will love it.