Tuesday, November 8, 2011

REVIEW: Welcome to Deadtown

From It was a Dark and Stormy Night (Pill Hill Press, June 2011), "Welcome to Deadtown" by Joseph Zieja:

The first story in this collection of horror parodies, "Welcome to Deadtown" sets an extremely odd tone when protagonist John realizes his very ordinary kitchen has become a portal to a bizarre world known as Deadtown.

Immediately upon entering Deadtown, John, confused and in disbelief, encounters an elderly pseudo-southern redneck who quickly informs him that he will be held captive unless Francis Stone allows him to return to his own world.

The story is somewhat slow moving and confusing, as it is cluttered with A LOT of characters and information before the reader has a chance to really settle in and get comfortable with his /her surroundings. We travel along the blood and gore strewn roads to the Deadtown Inn where we meet a weird receptionist, followed by a hockey mask wearing narcoleptic serial killer named Dom. We can see right away that John is much smarter than any of the otherworldly residents of Deadtown, but nonetheless, he and Dom team up in an effort to find Francis Stone.

This is when the story begins to get very complicated with subplots--like a bad joke, John and Dom (who continues to nod off) encounter a Rambo-eque military man, a priest, a semi-conformed mad scientist, a bimbo determine to investigate bad situations, and some sort of bizarre tourist whose gender and nationality are unknown. Off they go to the creepy castle on the hill, finding themselves attacked by monsters known as "Stoners". Yes, by this point, my head was spinning. Things progressed from odd to extremely twisted when the tourist, who seems to be an alien/Japanese/German hybrid mix, tells John that Francis "Frank" Stone's German name is "Stein". Frank Stein, a half-vampire, half-werewolf, half-zombie creation of Dr. Thompson, the mad scientist. Frank, it turns out, is really nothing more than a whining crybaby with Daddy Issues.

I'm not one to include spoilers for those who might choose to read this story or the book it is included in, so I won't divulge "Welcome to Deadtown"'s ending. Suffice it to say, it is strange and unexpected and, unfortunately, anti-climatic, a possible storyline of its own.

"Welcome to Deadtown" is a mediocre story. The tangled plot(s) had potential, and while there is nothing remarkable about Joseph Zieja's writing, it isn't terrible. He is a fair writer, and although I'm certain he knew where he was going with his story, I just didn't groove on it.

Wicked Truths regarding "Welcome to Deadtown":
1. John is a very intelligent and likeable protagonist. He is very much the "audience" of a bad horror movie.
2. John determines that it appears he'd been "trapped in a horror movie...a really, really bad horror movie". I got that from the moment I began to follow him into Deadtown. It didn't need to be stated.
3. Awkward analogy moment: "his clothes sticking to him like melted plastic wrap over a hot dish of food".
4. WAY too many plots, subplots, and storylines.
5. WAY too many characters--many needed better development.
6. In many of the passages, the writer used colorful descriptions, but seemed to wax and wane a bit as the story progressed.

OVERALL RATING:   


3 out of 5 Flying Monkeys

If you would like to learn more about Joseph Zieja, please visit him on the web at http://josephzieja.wordpress.com/

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations - you're the first person to review any of my publications ever. I found this purely by happenstance. While I, and obviously the editors, don't necessarily agree with your review, I appreciate you taking the time to share your opinion about my work.

    ReplyDelete